Warmer Weather
by carrotcrave
Summary: Set in Ocala, Florida. It's freshman year at college for Bella and she lives alone with her best friend Jacob Black. Her boyfriend, Edward, went to FSU 3 hours away. What happens when Bella's had enough from Edward and her real feelings surface?
1. Both Sides

Jacob

My back ached; my feet pounded in my boots. The shirt I wore clung to my back in the muggy Florida morning, so I peeled it over my shoulders as I ascended the first few steps up to the sensible apartment I shared with a roommate. Living in the complex was actually a pretty okay thing nowadays, now that there was someone to help foot the rent and watch the place when I was at work.

Because I worked nights, the rumor around the complex was that my place was the easy target for burglary and so forth because no one was home in the darkest hours. However, for some bizarre reason, no one ever messed with my things. My neighbors told me it was because everyone was afraid of me, because I looked different and intimidated others. I would look in the mirror and try to see what people found so intimidating, but I never could. My roommate said my size was a big threat, but I just laughed and shook my head. I really would never hurt a fly.

Once I reached the top of the flight of stairs, I dug in my cargo pants for my house key. The station wasn't more than a couple blocks away so I didn't bother driving there for my shift. Besides, as an EMT I needed to stay in shape so the extra exercise didn't do anything bad for me. The dead bolt thunked as it was pushed to the unlock position and I could literally feel the door shake with its force. I'd asked the landlord to allow me to install the deadbolt after my roommate moved in; I could deal with my things being stolen, but I didn't want to feel responsible if the person I lived with ended up leaving because of a bad neighborhood.

The inside of the apartment was still black because it faced the west, away from the rising sun. Not that it helped cool the place down any, being in a shadier section of the complex. The AC bill was still ridiculous; and it didn't help that I ran at almost 100 degrees all the time. But, the small change in temperature as I stepped inside caused my bare arms to prickle under the thin layer of sweat I'd managed to produce as I jogged home.

Shutting the door and locking it again, I hooked my keys on the wall hook that had recently been set up and emptied my pockets on the small table next to the couch. The living room was small, of course, and opened into the eating area and a bar where you could see in to the kitchen. On one side of the living room was a door that led to my room and on the opposite end was the door that led to my roommate's.

There was a basket of clothes in front of the door on the left, my room. My roommate and I switched chores around the place every once in a while. I glanced over the bar and into the kitchen sink; there weren't a lot of dishes in there but I should do them while I'm up so I do. That was my big chore of the morning. Both of us were pretty neat when it came to our place, so only trivial things like clothes and dishes and dusting needed to be done. I dried my hands off on my pants and dropped the shirt I'd draped over my shoulders in the dirty basket next to the washer and dryer in the back of the kitchen before moving around and opening my door. I'd wait till later to fold my clothes.

I kicked off my shoes and socks, the instant relief washing over my feet, causing me to sigh. I sat down at the edge of my low bed and rested my head in my hands, curving my back and trying to stretch it out. Glancing at the clock, I saw it read 7:20. I stood up with one push on my knees and left my room, crossing the living room in three strides and slowly opening the door into my roommate's quarters.

Almost immediately the smell of her bath wash and perfume wafted up my nose. It held a calming effect over me, like some kind of hallucinogen. Her small frame was curled up under her covers facing away from me, towards the window. It took me only half a step to reach the edge of her bed and lean one knee behind the small of her back. She rolled back against the weight of it and grumbled something incoherent in her sleep.

"What was that?" I asked, pushing on too cheerful for her liking this early in the morning. She was a big sleeper, which was probably why she had her school schedule start at 10:50 in the morning and didn't usually get out of bed before 10.

She whined softly, trying to get her point across. I smiled and leant down, brushing her brown hair off her face and grazing my lips over her exposed cheek bone. There was a trace effect that swept over her features, like she wanted to smile but could only muster up enough energy to upturn the very outer corners of her mouth.

"Just wanted to let you know I'm home, okay?" I started to stand up straight again to leave, but her small hand shot out from under the covers and grabbed my wrist before I could stand properly. It lingered there for a few moments, wrapped tightly, but sleep overtook her gesture and her grip loosened. I wiped the rest of the hair that had fallen out of her pony tail off her face and exited her room, glancing at the burnt wood frame I'd made for her back in high school with our names etched in the grains. _Bella and Jake_. Under the glass of the frame was a picture of us at the lake my dad lived on from the fourth of July from the previous summer.

I stopped, my foot halfway out the door, and stared at the reminders of our relationship. We had always been best friends, from childhood I guess, back when she lived with her mom. That was up till she was 12. After that she moved to Washington to stay with her dad while her mom, Renee, travelled with her step-dad, Phil, on his journey through various minor-league baseball teams. When Phil tore his knee up in a game, he and Renee came back, which brought Bella back. I'd already graduated high school, making her a junior, which made it awkward to regain our past friendship. But we did it. After a few months time we were always around one another, best friends again.

Next to our photo was a frame with her and another guy, Edward; Bella's long time and currently away at college boyfriend. Now he was a dick. I knew he was; he just had that over confidence that screamed narcissistic to everyone but Bella. But I kept my mouth shut, especially after the first fight she and I had when he went away to Tallahassee. I'd told her that he wouldn't remain true to her and go off and get drunk and screw the first girl he could. That night I heard her crying. She tried to shrug it off as nothing, but I knew my words had stung. She'd never felt adequate for Edward, like he was some sort of super-being that sparkled in the sun and was a gift from God Himself.

So since then I'd kept quiet about him. Because Bella and I were living together after she graduated so she could just walk to school, I had the pleasure of hosting Edward when he decided to come in to town. Tallahassee was only three hours away, so he came around every couple of weeks. Bella knew my thoughts on the subject of him staying here for three or four days at a time: I didn't like it. She tried to talk him in to letting her drive up there, but he said his dorm mates would bother him too much and tease him, so she agreed that she wouldn't go up there.

I, of course, found it fishy that he would hide her from his new life. So I, of course, wanted to voice my opinion, but when I would, Bella would get this tired look on her face, like she was exhausted from holding up a tough front and I would drop it. Lately I was beginning to wonder if she and he would make it.

I was brought back to reality by the faint noise of a distant car alarm. Shaking my head, I turned back to glance at Bella as she slumbered on. I made sure I was quiet as I crept to the other end of the apartment and showered before collapsing on to my own bed, which was too small for my long frame, and kicking the maroon sheets off the foot of the bed. I never used them, but it looked better than a bare mattress. I stared at the blades of my ceiling fan for a long time, lost in daydreams, before my real dreams took over and I drifted off into sleep.

Bella

"I had another dream about Jacob." I sat down under the short dogwood tree at the metal picnic table Angela and I sat at every Thursday after my second class, Humanities. The short tree provided the instant shade I'd been wanting, having crossed almost the entire campus in about five minutes in the blazing Florida sun. I could feel a cool line of sweat fall between my shoulder blades under the flimsy tank top I'd thrown on at 10:45 this morning. Once again, I'd slept in too late, spent way too long in the shower, and dragged my feet all the way out the door. I'd probably wake up earlier if I'd go to bed earlier, but there was always something stopping me from drifting off the sleep when I was home alone.

I had two theories. One, I was terrified that someone would break in. Jacob was the big man in the lot and people knew he could fend for himself. I, on the other hand, was much smaller and a little less coordinated when it came to defending me. My dad, Charlie, gave me a can of pepper spray for Graduation back in June, but I doubt that would be the first thing I'd grab in the case of an intrusion.

My second theory, well, Angela's theory, was that I couldn't stand Jacob being away. That was true. I've become accustomed to having him around all the time. But he makes better pay at night and he needs to money, so I'm very understanding when it comes to him staying at the station on call every other night. But I don't think I'm losing sleep over it.

Angela immediately lifted her head from the center of her textbook and raised her eyebrows. It had become a strange habit of mine to dream about my best friend and roommate, almost every other day it seemed.

The only reason she even cared to be so into what I had to say was because my dreams always turned into something steamy and sexy and definitely a bummer to wake up from. She thought it was completely hysterical, cliché, and obvious that I would end up falling for my best friend. I begged to differ.

The only reason why I had these dreams was because I was hormonal and didn't have a constant supply of sex; Edward was up at FSU and I was in small town Ocala, Florida. I was comfortable with Jacob and he was a hunk of a man, so of course my unconscious would link the two into something like dirty dreams. I opened my mouth to explain to Angela what seemed like the hundredth time since the semester started what my theory was when she cut me off.

"I know. I know! You're hormonal. Your boyfriend is away. Your best friend and roommate is gorgeous and yaddy-yadda. I get it." I rolled my eyes at the brunette across from me, twirling the ends of my hair around my fingers. "But tell me something Bella," she leaned on her forearms and stared at me over her glasses, "Why is it that you have these dreams about _Jacob_ and not _Edward_ if you love him so much and are pining for his touch and not Jacob's?"

I stopped in mid-twirl and my jaw went slack for a moment. But I recovered quickly.

"The mind works in mysterious ways Ange. It's probably just because he's always around." She straightened up and shrugged her eyebrows again; she didn't believe me. And who would? I do admit I had a crush on him when I first got back from Washington, but what else would you expect as an outcome of our relationship at the time?

Jacob and I had been inseparable from as far back as I could remember, and even when I moved to Washington for those five years. We had emailed each other every couple of weeks, but nothing compared to seeing him again a few weeks into my junior year of high school. It was like the breath was kicked out of my lungs, like plunging into a freezing ocean from a cliff. I'd smiled so wide in the instant I recognized who he was that I probably looked deranged. I took off from my spot and ran, albeit clumsily towards the statue of bronze skin and black hair that stood not fifty feet from where I was.

It was at a football game and I was with Edward, before we started dating. Jacob was in his EMT student uniform and leaning against the front of the cab of the ambulance he was driving that night. With his hands tucked in his pants pockets and black hair pulled back in a ponytail, casually watching the game in front of him, he resembled the red Power Ranger he would always play when we were kids. I, of course, was the pink Ranger, but I'd grown out of that phase a long time prior.

I remember his face when he realized who I was. I was five years older by that point, making me seventeen, him nineteen. We hadn't ever shared photos with one another, partially because his dad and mine were alike in the fact that they couldn't work a camera to save their lives. So the shock of a tall, dark, handsome Jacob Black stunned me for a good amount of time as I approached him. His smile was so white and perfect; he'd definitely grown up a lot.

Edward was pissed that I had ditched him momentarily to talk with my old best friend. I was oblivious to that small fact. Jacob, however, was not. Looking back, I can sort of see the warning glances he was giving Edward as he seethed to my right. If I try really hard, I can probably still hear Edward's teeth grinding as my conversation with Jacob ended up lasting a full half of the game and concluded with lunch plans.

So, maybe I could see why everyone thought Jacob and I would eventually end up together. We looked like a couple to outsiders, minus the kissing and groping in public. He was my eternal protector, like a step-brother, so close that we were like family, but not actually related. Jacob stood in for Edward during my Junior Prom, or lack of prom, when Edward went to Prom and I didn't. I had failed to buy a ticket, partly because I didn't want to go and partly because I didn't have the money for all the expenses. He'd already bought his ticket and refused to return it, and told me he would just stay because I was a brat about it. I could see why he was angry; I'd said I would go with him, and I'd gone back on my promise. But dresses and heels and dancing weren't my forte. I could barely walk a straight line barefoot. I had been so mad at Edward that I told him to go to prom and I would be fine by myself. So he left. And I wasn't alone. Jacob and I ate popcorn and watched Die Hard movies all night.

The next year, for my Senior Prom, I did go with Edward, but hated every moment of it. I didn't dance, Edward was annoyed because I wouldn't dance, and we sat in silence at the table with Angela and Ben and watched other couples dance and whatnot. It wasn't a fun night and I finally got Edward to agree to leave around ten.

Edward and I have always had some agreement issues, from what we did on a Friday night to where I was going to college. He'd been set on FSU since he could apply, but I didn't feel the need to go away for college. Why pay so much money for the same education? I mean, the experience could be fun, for an outgoing person, but not for me. I wouldn't know what to do with myself in a place like that. I opted for community college and didn't apply to any Universities, which caused a big rut to grow between Edward and me. It didn't help that my mom wanted me to follow Edward like she did to Phil. It was hard enough to decide to stay at home for college without my mother breathing down my neck.

This led me to moving out. Jacob had an open room in his apartment and the rent wasn't bad, so I immediately told him I'd move in. So since then, about three months ago, I've been living with him in a two bed, two bath apartment on the second floor of a complex only two blocks from the college campus, a short enough distance for me to ride my bike.

To the outsider, this situation would look suspicious. My best friend being my roommate and us being comfortable enough to walk around in our underwear at home in front of each other…yeah, seems suspicious. But it never has been. I got over my crush on Jacob almost as soon as it had developed.

"You know I've got money on when you two are going to hook-up, right?" Angela brought me out of my blank stupor, shocked that she would say and better yet, even DO such a thing. My face wore all the shock I felt, but she just smiled and began reading from her textbook again, her geeky smirk literally growing with every passing second.

"I don't even want to know who you have this bet with, Ange," I finally managed. That was a lie. I wanted to know who was in on it, but I'd weasel it out of her later. "But, if you don't mind me asking, how much do you have on it?"

It was her turn to look shocked. "What does it matter if you're so dead-set on not getting with Jacob? And are you trying to tell me you'll either stall or speed up this hooking-up process if you know the amount of money I have bestowed on the situation?" I threw my head back and laughed.

"Oh yeah, Angela," I started off as sarcastically as I could muster with the given hilarity of the conversation, "I'll definitely sleep with Jake faster if you're set on a later date, just so you'll lose." My back shook as I laughed again. Angela pursed her lips as I continued, "And I'll most certainly try to hold myself back from jumping his bones if you think it'll happen tonight."

"Whose bones are you jumping tonight?" My laughter cut off immediately when I heard the sound of the voice behind me.


	2. Afternoon Romp

Bella 2

"Whose bones are you jumping tonight?" My laughter cut off immediately when I heard the sound of the voice behind me. I could feel my eyes almost bulge out of my head and I wanted to clamp my hand over my mouth in horror that he'd heard me.

Wheeling myself around to face the music, I smiled and altered my voice so he couldn't suspect something was up. "You of course, honey." I stood up and hugged my boyfriend, trying to keep an excited outer appearance. Inside, however, my heart was thumping wildly and I felt myself want to heave, not at him, but the possibility that he'd heard everything. Angela was the one who would know if he was behind me, so why hadn't she said anything?

Edward smiled as I stepped back from his embrace, and I took in his appearance. He'd gained a few pounds since the last time I'd seen him, probably from driving his car everywhere. He loved that thing, but it was helping those freshman fifteen take place on his hips. His once perfect physique was being squashed by industrial size packs of Cheeze-Its and beer.

"I've missed you so much! What're you doing here?" I felt out of breath, hopefully it sounded like excitement. I was more surprised than excited. I didn't like surprises; I liked knowing what was going to happen. I felt a little put-off that he didn't know by now that I hated surprises. But that's Edward for you: showy, flashy, full of surprises.

"I decided to come see you before I go down to Ft. Myers for the long weekend. I skipped classes and everything to come and see you." His facial expression turned to almost depressed, like I'd somehow offended him. "If that's not okay I can leave I guess and see you at the end of the month?"

Immediately I hugged him again. " No no no! It's fine. I just didn't know you were going to Ft. Myers for the weekend. You r parents are down there?" I made to sit down and patted the bench by my side, lifting my backpack out of the way for Edward to sit. It's always nice to see your boyfriend, especially since he's gone all the time.

"No, they went to Louisiana for the weekend. I'm going down there with some of my friends from the dorm hall. We're going shark fishing. They're already almost there but I stopped here to see you for a couple hours." Oh. He was only here for a little while.

"Oh ok." I didn't know what to say to that. All I could think of saying was something along the lines of how important I felt to be the last to know of his plans. I angled my head toward the blue metal crosses-stitches of the tabletop. I heard Angela clear her throat.

"So, how's school Edward?" Angela had been a little off when it came to Edward as of late, possibly from hanging around Jacob with me so much. He had rubbed off on her and turned her against Edward. It wasn't fair; it seemed I was the only one still an Edward fan.

"It's fine. I switched majors. Instead of business so I can go to Medical School, I'm majoring in History. I'm going to be a lawyer instead. It's so much more rewarding than being a doctor. I mean, you get paid more for doing nothing but sitting in an office all day and lying. I can do that easy." Edward was smiling from ear-to-ear. I tried to smile back when he looked my way, like I should be proud my boyfriend is a self-proclaimed professional liar.

I was too busy trying to think if he'd told me he switched majors. I tried to think back to all of our phone conversations and emails and IMs. I couldn't think of anything that would even hint at him changing his major. And that's pretty important, wouldn't you think?

"Wow," Angela was trying to save my skin for me, giving me time to think of something to say. "I was thinking about changing mine but-"

"Sorry, Angela, but I've got to go. Have to get back on the road before 3 so I don't hit rush hour in Tampa. That would suck." Edward interrupted Angela and began to stand up. "You comin' Bella?"

I tilted my head towards Edward as he stood, unconsciously standing up as well. I nodded and looked back at Angela. She had a scowl on her normally flawless face. I mouthed 'sorry' before saying out loud "I'll meet up with you after speech, okay Ange?" By the time I had finished my statement, Edward was already walking away from the table. Angela just shrugged her eyebrows and gave me the look that said 'you deserve better' and I had to turn away from her so I wouldn't trip while walking.

"I've never liked her, you know." Edward stated as I caught up to him, my backpack halfway on my back. I had my humanities book in my arms and was trying to force it in the bag but I couldn't reach so I just gave up and held on to it.

"Who? Angela? Why not?" I stuttered in my step for a moment, but Edwards long strides continued towards the parking lot. I had to double time it to catch up to him.

"She's always had an attitude with me. She's so snobby." Edward turned his head and scrunched up his nose.

Without thinking, I blurted out the first thing I thought of, "Well maybe if you would allow her to speak instead of cutting her off every time she tries to make conversation, you'd see she's not snobby; she's just learned not to talk as much around you." I felt my face flush with my sudden outburst.

Edward stopped in his tracks. "If only some people would learn to do the same."

I halted my walking as well and stood in front of him. "And what's that suppose to mean?" I crossed my bare arms over my chest, hugging the humanities book to my ribs.

"I just think sometimes you ramble on and on about the most trivial things." Edward began walking again, stepping around me to continue on his path.

"I haven't said anything since you've been here!" I let my mouth go slack and I felt the fire burn in my cheeks as my anger sparked up again.

"Exactly. Either when I come and see you you're so excited you talk about nothing of substance or you're in such a grumpy mood and PMSing that you ignore me the entire time I'm here." Edward wasn't being fair. I knew that. He had to know that. He was smart and could function in society, so of course this had to be a joke; a sick joke, but a joke still.

"You're kidding me, right?"

"No. I'm not."

Once again I found myself standing in front of him, only this time we were next to his car, some fancy little silver number with chrome wheels and tinted windows. My face was red, and not just from the Florida sun.

I didn't want to argue. "What did I do? I can fix it, I promise."

Edward crossed his arms and deliberated what he wanted to say. "I just don't feel much loved lately. We're not close," I started to object. I called him every night before I went to bed and he knew that, "_physically_ anymore." My heart dropped.

He was upset because he hadn't been laid in two weeks?! I wanted to slam his face into the driver's window of his car. Instead, I just stared at him straight in the eyes. "Is that your problem, Edward? Sex? Because if it is, I can fix that now." I pleaded with my eyes. This was stupid to fight over, but according to my mother men had to be shown they were loved through physical needs, unlike women who needed to hear they were loved.

"Really?" Edward got a mischievous glint in his eye before unlocking his car. "If so, I'll give you a ride to your place."

I sighed, my chest rising and falling dramatically with the effort. "Yeah," I said after a few seconds time before circling the car and getting in the passenger seat.

Edward threw the car in reverse and sped out of the parking lot, barely giving me time to put my seatbelt on. I stared out the window at the students walking down the sidewalk, laughing with their friends and boyfriends. I remembered when Edward and I were happily strolling through the halls of our high school holding hands and kissing by the water fountains. Now we were speeding through traffic to get to my apartment to have a quickie before he would leave for the four day weekend to go fishing with his new dorm friends when he could spend the weekend with me.

Fairytale? I think not.

Jacob 2

I'm generally a heaver sleeper. I could probably sleep through a Kansas tornado or a riot. But, there's just something about the voice of a bastard that wakes me from the deepest of slumbers. And the jackass probably knew I would be home and asleep on account of my Rabbit parked in the lot down stairs and Bella probably told him to keep quiet.

Did he listen? Of course not. So what did I wake up to at two o'clock in the afternoon? Why, the sound of Edward promising, quite loudly might I add, that he was going to cause Bella to not be able to walk straight for the next three days and that he was going to 'give it to her good'. I wanted to clog my ears with whole pillows as soon as I heard his voice.

Not only was it bad enough that he was here, but the fact that I was quite possibly in love with his girlfriend even as they romped across the living room made my chest collapse. There's no denying I was jealous. Bella deserved much better. I tried to grind the images of them together out of my head by grinding my fists into my forehead.

I turned on my side and picked my phone off the nightstand. The red light signaling a new message flashed in the dim light of my room. The sun was peeking through my window blinds and made me squint when I glanced at them. I flipped the phone open; it was a new text from Angela.

HEADS UP: DOUCHEWARD IS HERE. HE'S EXTRA DOUCHE-ISH TODAY. BEWARE.

I had to chuckle at Angela's warning. She was always watching out for others. Especially me now that she knew my secret. Who else could I confide in about my feelings towards my best friend? Certainly not the guys at the station; they'd laugh their asses off before I could even finish my thoughts. Though, they probably knew by now. They'd known me long enough to hear about how great Bella was. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure this shit out. But anyways, I had told Angela by mistake. We both have this hate for Edward, and we both know she deserves better, and to top it off we know who would be perfect for her: moi. She was ranting to me about something Edward did that pissed her off one weekend and I said she deserved better. Angela being sly and detective-ish managed to weasel out the truth that I thought I was a better match for Bella. She agreed.

I would have given anything to march across the living room and pound my fist on her door and cause his scrawny ass to become "premature" from fright, but I figured it would cause Bella and me to argue and she'd probably get the brute end of Edwards embarrassment aimed at her innocent self so I thought otherwise. So, instead, I covered my head with my pillow and tried to block out the sounds of Bella's headboard ramming into the wall.

Needless to say, it was quiet in the apartment other than the primal sounds coming from a certain male douche and, with a saddened heart on my end, from a gorgeous brunette, so I didn't exactly fall back asleep. Instead, I let my mind wander to where it did on any other day where I was supposed to be home alone. It started off with the two of us alone, the AC was off, and we were both beginning to dread living in the middle of Florida. I imagined the smooth droplets of sweat sliding down her flushed skin from the start of her ponytail and down her spine. She was sitting at the kitchen counter on one of the barstools reading a book she'd picked up.

Even as I heard the sound of Bella's bed stop shaking the thin walls, I couldn't help but continue the daydream inside my head. Her breath would catch when I would walk up and kiss the salty line on her neck, my hands slithering down to where her legs connected to her torso, causing her back to arch away from me. An image of her brown locks spread out on my pillowcase and her mouth open in a small 'O' shape was the last thing I thought of before I heard the front door slam.

That couldn't have been a good thing. The rude gesture of Edward leaving made me want to rush out there and take my Louisville Slugger to his windows, especially since he'd just made love to the best girl in the world not thirty feet away from my head. How I wished it were me instead of him. I was the best friend; I knew Bella like I knew the layout of the city, every nook and cranny of the city was comparable to the ins and outs of Bella's mind. She couldn't believe I knew her so well, but who wouldn't be able to not know her? She read like an open book, or at least she did to me.

I sat up and walked into my bathroom, nausea coming up to grip my throat; I hated Edward Cullen. The cold water I splashed on my face helped hold in the green monster trying to claw its way up my throat. I could tell I was extra warm at the moment; the anger in me was growing. And it was stupid for me to not be able to hold in my emotions. I just couldn't understand how a jerk like him got the girl like her. Bella was always the strong willed, the honest and open girl. She had spirit. As of late, her spirit, her soul, seemed to have died when he came around. He was a soul-sucker and I doubt I would ever forgive him.

Figuring he didn't lock the door during his grand exit, I managed to tip-toe out my room and dead bolt it again, mumbling a "and stay out" before collapsing on the soft couch. Bella's door was open a few inches, so much that I could see her bare back hunched over on the opposite end of her bed. Her sheets were clumped around her hips and if a light were on I could have seen the dimples of her lower back. It hurt to not know what was going through her head. Was the sex great? Was it horrible? Was he coming back tonight? Was he never coming back? That last question stirred a little hope in my chest but I huffed it away. Better not to hope too much in these types of situations.

Bella looked as if she were about to stand so I rolled so I was facing the back of the couch. I heard a gasp and fought the urge to turn around. I didn't want her to know I was awake, so I faked unconsciousness when I felt her small hand run across the right side of my face and into my hair, almost like I had done to her this morning when I got home from work.

I felt the shudder in her breath before I heard it; her hand shook against my jaw with her quiet sob. Again I fought the urge to flip over and pull her into me. I still felt a little depressed at what I'd heard not ten minutes ago. I tried real hard to block the audio memory from the last half hour and focused on keeping my breathing steady. In, out, in, out.

Bella's hand stopped tracing over my jaw and lingered for a moment before she backed away and I heard her bedroom door shut quietly. After a few more minutes I heard the shower start and then finally her radio was turned on. I'd learned once, and it only took me one time to learn this, that when she showered and listened to the radio, Bella cried.

While Bella wallowed in her tub, I was busy devising a plan that would either prohibit Edward from coming back or to just murder him the next time I saw him. I was leaning towards a drawn out and perfectly meditated murder when Bella came out of her room, bringing that fresh scent with her.

"What made you so dirty you had to take a shower between classes?" I called out, my voice filled with acid and venom. I turned my head to see Bella stopped on her way into the kitchen, her hands balled into fists. She turned slowly, and I could see her ears tinged pink. I'd pissed her off.

For some unknown reason, maybe it was the fact that she slept with Edward time after time; I didn't feel remorse for being rude. I wanted her to get mad, so at least I would know she was capable of defending herself, even if I did find her actions unjust.

"If you must know," she was just as acidic back to me; she knew I hated him, "Edward stopped by." She raised her eyebrows just enough to get her dirty suggestion across.

"Must have been some great sex, Bella. You were in the shower for a long time." I quirked my own eyebrow up to get MY point across. She knew I knew her routine. I watched as her face fell but her hands remained balled up.

"I didn't know you were awake." Bella sounded defeated.

"I wasn't," I started, intending on telling her that they woke me up, but I couldn't do that to her. My wall was crumbling quickly. "I just woke up at the wrong time."

Bella stayed quiet for a few moments and I began to sit up and tuck my leg under my butt, making room for her if she'd wanted it next to me. She chewed on her bottom lip for a couple seconds, staring at a spot next to my dangling foot. I shook my ankle around to get her attention. Bella seemed to snap out of it and smiled upon catching my eye.

"Sorry, was just thinking to myself." She turned before I could say anything and headed into the kitchen. It pissed me off that she could bounce back and forth between seemingly depressed to just as seemingly happy. That had to take a lot out of her.

I leaned against the arm rest of the couch, raising my chin to see over the counter and to where Bella stood grabbing some bread and peanut butter and jelly. "What were you thinking?" Absentmindedly I was plucking as the threads on the pillow I had tucked under my lower back, but a sudden cramp in my hip caused me to get out of the awkward position and sit up straighter.

Bella glanced over her shoulder and I spotted the wetness next to her neck from her wet hair draping over her shoulders. She'd pulled the locks up in a ponytail but not before the shoulder of her shirt was soaked. The image caused me to think back to my daydream and I had to look away.

"I was just thinking of what I need to get from the grocery store." Bella turned back to her sandwich. "We're running low on jelly." To prove her point, Bella held up the glass jar of Welch's. It was a lame excuse, but managed to get her away from the subject of Edward, which he knew she knew he was going to bring up, whether it be sooner or later. I took it that she'd rather not discuss it now.

"We could go to the store when you get out of class tonight?" I figured I'd play along with her act, at least for right now. I honestly didn't feel like getting an earful about how she and Edward were in love and the sex was amazing and she just liked listening to the radio while she showered. I didn't believe one word of what she claimed to say was the truth, and I needed a game plan. Later would be best.

"Yeah, that'd be great," she said, ripping a paper towel off the roll and wrapping it around her sandwich. "I need your opinion on which detergent to get. Don't some of them make you itchy or something?"

I nodded half-heartedly. So this was how it was going to be, like it always was when Edward came around, completely screwing up my day, Bella's day, and apparently Angela's day as well. But I swore I would get to the bottom of Bella's mood that seemed to surface once Edward showed up. I'd just have to wait till she got back from class.


	3. AC Sweat

**DISCLAIMER:** I own nothing. Technically I don't even OWN this plot, but I like to think I'm responsible for the outcome of this story. Everything else actually does belong to S. Meyer.

**A/N:** sorry for the delay? I think it's been a week or something since I've updated. Sorry. But, I do have something of substance to say. Thanks to everyone who has favorited this story. I really appreciate it. Shout-out to JBismyRomeo01, Lauren, Team 108.9, and Renae. These lovely people were the only ones to review this story and I'm really glad that they decided to tell me what they thought. So why don't the rest of you do that? It makes me feel good. Hah.

Also, if anyone wants to create a banner for me to put in the summary, I'd gladly take it. Credit will be given of course, so that wouldn't be a problem.

I hope ya'll enjoy this chapter. It was the first one where I wrote it and had both characters in mind. The revious ones I combined separate chapters and touched it up. This way was definitely more difficult to write.

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Bella

My breathing was ragged and short, the air in the hot room lacking the oxygen needed to keep me alive. With the windows open in our second story apartment, the air was dripping with moisture, only instead of cooling us off it was causing our bodies to become slick with sweat faster than what they normally would. My bangs were plastered to my forehead and temples and I was suffocating in the crook of his shoulder, so I threw my head back with my eyes closed, too caught up in him to care what was going on around us.

Of course nothing would be a distraction; we were alone. The only other company we could possibly have was outside on the streets and I could vaguely hear cars driving down the nearby street that took me to my classes every Tuesday and Thursday. As I threw my head back, my body in turn leant back and I had to clench my thighs tighter to keep from falling off his lap.

Both of us moaned as the angle changed and my toes curled in the sheets behind his upright back, one of his hands slithered behind my back to keep me upright and not on the floor, and his other trailed up between my breasts. The sticky sweat on his palm along with the heat and thin sheen on my chest caused his hand to catch on my skin, pulling my skin with his hand. The movement was raw and painful, but a little pain never hurt anyone so I ignored the sensation on my sternum.

Jacob, yes Jacob, saw the red patch of skin turn so he leant forward and kissed the spot open-mouthed. It stopped the gyrating between our hips, but felt nice nonetheless. I tried to slam my hips into his to feel him inside me again, moving, but Jacob was too occupied between the mounds of flesh over my ribs. My whine turned into another moan as his hot mouth turned to my right nipple, his tongue finding its way around the darker skin. His breath was friction enough to make it harden, or it was the image of his form under my body, finally buried deep within my sex.

Jacob's hand not holding me up cupped my other breast, his thumb sliding the underside where the mound met my ribs. I could feel the small amount of sweat there get swept away, and a small part of me was embarrassed, but that feeling went away almost as soon as it arrived. I knew Jacob wouldn't find it gross and I sure as hell didn't feel self-conscious about it.

I wasn't tired of the sweetness of the moment, but my stomach was still in knots; I was so close to the edge before he'd moved. I squeezed the muscles on my inside and Jacob nipped at the sensitive skin of my nipple when the point got across to him. A low growl rumbled through his chest and up his neck, so I felt it on my breasts as his mouth was in my own neck now. I had to laugh as I squeezed the muscles again and again, the hardest squeezes making me thrust a little.

Jacob finally had enough torture from my lower half because he suddenly gripped my lower back and rocked forward to sit up. I wrapped my legs around his waist when I felt him stand, holding on for dear life. My mouth found his earlobe and sucked hard, probing a groan and a sigh from Jacob's mouth. Jacob stumbled and I found my butt on the top of his dresser. The sudden motion stopper caused him to thrust into my sex suddenly and I couldn't help but clamp my mouth of Jacob's. His breathing was brushing my face in hot strokes and I could only imagine how mine felt to him. Both of his hands had found their way to where my legs met my hips, the thumbs sliding down the crease in agonizingly soft strokes. It only added to the pleasure I was receiving from between his legs. One of his thumbs dared to reach farther inside my legs and swept over my sensitive nub.

I once again threw my head back in surprise and relished in the feelings he was causing to swirl throughout my body. I was so close. My face was angled towards the ceiling, right under the air conditioner vent. I felt the ice cold air hit my cheekbones along with a drop of water, equally, if not more, icy. A couple seconds passed before another drop hit my face; the AC must have been sweating because it was on but it was too hot out. I ignored it as much as I could before another hit my face and I angled my face away from the torturous drops, capturing Jacob's lips between my own. I bit down on his bottom lip when another drop slid down my nose. It was annoying now; why had we moved to his dresser? I was so close, but the water was dragging me away from my orgasm, the orgasm I'd never had. Edward never reached that ultimate goal, and it pissed him off. But Jacob was so close.

I sighed, closing my eyes again and everything turned black.

It was only a dream; another one of the steamy wet dreams I had that Angela was so interested in. I should probably get her a gift card for Erotica books for her birthday this year because she was so interested in imagining other people's sex lives, or lack-thereof in my case.

I sighed again because I realized everything that had just happened was only a dream. My hand slid over my crotch and the feeling over my turned on sex sent a shiver up my back. My panties were wet. Damn that Jacob Black, I thought, for making me more turned on than what I could ever remember being with Edward.

And he'd never made me orgasm; at least, never vaginally. I think I'd faked it once, after seven months of him trying, but then later admitted that it wasn't real. He did try for a while there in the beginning of our sex-life, but soon became frustrated and only did it for himself, figuring I could be finished off afterwards by other means.

My hands lifted above my head and gripped my headboard, my knuckles turning white at the force I was gripping the hard wood. My comforter slid down my torso and I could feel the air conditioned air sweep across the skin of my exposed abdomen where my camisole top had ridden up during sleep. I sat there thinking about my dream about Jacob; it was a good one. I could even feel the ghostlike trails his hands and tongue had traced over my hot skin.

Remembering the imaginary feeling of Jacob's skin on mine was causing my breathing to become heavier and I could feel my chest rise and fall with every intake of breath. The cold water fell under my eye again. I stopped breathing.

There was no vent above my bed for reasons like in my dream; it would sweat as soon as the heat was too much for its limited load. I opened my eyes slowly and tried to breathe again, but couldn't from the mixture of shock and anger that got caught in my throat. I wanted to scream and gasp and yell all at the same time.

The yell got out first, "Jacob Ephraim Black! What the fuck are you doing?!"

Jacob threw his hands behind his back as he heard me yell, but not before I saw what was dripping on my face: an ice cube. He'd been holding it between his hot fingers so it would drip on me while I slept. Why he thought of doing that today of all days was beyond me.

I jumped up, noticing for the first time that my tank top had crept up higher than what I originally thought, all the way up to the point that if it had gone up any higher Jacob would have seen about as much as dream Jacob did and shoved real-life Jacob as hard as I could towards my door. He was laughing maniacally, head thrown back and chest shaking as he stumbled back under my palms. The adrenaline from my humiliation of what he possibly saw must have kicked in because Jacob was suddenly shoved into my doorframe.

He didn't even flinch at the hard wood pressing into his back.

"Do you always get this rough towards the victims of your wet dreams?" Jacob barked out a laugh as my face flushed.

"Get out of my room you pervert!" I was so embarrassed as I tried to shove the much larger man out of my door, but I ended up kicking the door frame with my pinkie toe and hopped on one foot while a line of curses flew from my mouth.

Jacob still continued to laugh, but thankfully left my room so I could slam the door and sink to the floor. What exactly had he seen, heard, witnessed, whatever. I tried to remember when the AC started to drip on my face in my dream and scrunched up my face as I realized how much he'd witnessed if anything I'd done in my sleep was relevant to what I'd done in my dream.

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, checking the clock on my nightstand. I had an hour before I had to be at the campus bookstore where I worked so I figured now would be a good time to disappear into the shower, get dressed, and leave before Jacob could interrogate me about my sleeping habits.

Although, a little part of me got excited at the idea of Jacob watching me have a dirty dream about him, no matter how embarrassing it seemed. I stood and searched my closet for something to wear before settling on a purple flowy tank top again, the kinds that were always found in American Eagle stores, and a pair of shorts. I grabbed a pair of underwear out of my drawer and opened my bedroom door. A more adventurous side of me was coming out this morning as I realized that if he was standing in the living room at just the right moment, Jacob would get a peep show once I came out of the shower and got dressed. The idea sent a chill through my stomach and I grinned, taking off towards the shower, removing articles of clothing as I went, like a cotton trail that would lead him to me.

Jacob

Was it wrong to torment my roommate at 9 in the morning with a dripping ice cube while she was basically panting in her bed, clothes all askew and mouth open in a tantalizing pout? Not in my opinion it wasn't. Was it wrong that I was feeling the effects of her small noises in my nether regions? Maybe. Getting off to an unconscious girl was not something to be proud of. The only reason I'd gone in her room to begin with was because there was a power outage the night before and it was only by chance that I woke up early enough to wake her up so she wouldn't be late.

When I had walked in to change the time on her clock, Bella was twisted in her sheets, her tank top high enough on her stomach that the bottom of her ribs were sticking out when she'd breathe in. I changed the time on her clock and left the room, leaving the door open and poured a glass of orange juice for myself. Because we'd gone to get groceries last night, the fridge and cupboards were filled with food that would hopefully take at least until our next paychecks to eat through.

The orange juice slid down my throat along with the pulp in the juice, we both loved to chew our juice, and I set the glass down on the counter. It was unreasonably hot for the morning and the glass immediately started to sweat in its place on the counter. I smiled and glanced towards Bella's room. It was time for her to wake up.

I slipped an ice cube out of the cup and brought it to my lips, sucking the orange juice off the cube. As an afterthought I imagined the orange juice slipping down her body if it had dropped off the ice cube, but had to stop thinking about that quickly. It was still morning and I had just woken up. I didn't want to have to take another shower.

When I stood over Bella's body, I couldn't help but appreciate what a gorgeous figure she had; she was thin, with feminine hips and just the right amount of breast for her frame. I didn't understand what she meant about having a too boyish body; she wasn't a stick but she didn't have Kardashian curves either. She wasn't abnormally pale, but she didn't get color like other girls in Florida. Her cheeks seemed to always be tinged pink, like she was always blushing. Her shoulders had accumulated freckles since she'd started wearing tank tops everywhere. I could remember when she would always wear long sleeve shirts and jeans; trying to cover up all the skin she could, claiming to be cold. Then, when Edward went to Tallahassee, Bella began uncovering her arms and legs. Now you could rarely get her to cover up her limbs unless they had to go somewhere special and "fancy". Of course, fancy in Ocala meant going to the steakhouse.

Without intending to, I dripped the ice cube on Bella's face. I wanted to laugh when her face scrunched up and made the drop slide down her cheek. A few seconds later the cube dripped again, this time on her lips. My breathing was slowing and becoming less noticeable as the third drop cascaded down her neck.

It seemed that as soon as my breathing stopped, hers did as well. There was movement under her sheets, and if my calculations were right, she was touching herself. That caused a bit of a stir to build up in my chest. First off, it was incredibly sexy. Secondly, it was hysterical to watch and I felt ashamed that I was so I turned my eyes away. This was supposed to be a safe haven for her anyways, it being her room and all. She stretched and gripped her headboard, making all the blood in my body flow down to, well, down there, and all I could do was watch her bare abdomen stretch and clench. Again I saw an image of her grabbing my headboard below me as I was the one causing her soft moans to emit from her glorious mouth.

Realizing too late that the ice cube was still over Bella's head, I watched in mild humor and horror as the water droplet fell to a spot just under her eye. Bella's eyes opened and the look on her face had me almost doubled-over in laughter. I definitely would not be able to get that face out of my mind for weeks, maybe even months.

She jumped up and I took in the way her shorts were riding low on her hips and watched as her tank top fell back down in place. She shoved against my chest and I was too distraught to not stumble backwards, straight into her doorframe. The pain was nothing compared to the feeling of Bella shoving me into the wall. I was off guard for a moment before I remembered how funny her face was before continuing to torment her on how feisty she got. It made me smile that I could push her buttons as much as I did. Angela must be right in knowing Bella wanted me as much as I wanted her.

She'd told me that Bella frequently dreamt about me, in ways that weren't very lady-like, and immediately my interest was piqued. Of course Angela wouldn't let me in on the intimate details she'd obviously received from Bella, so I wasn't completely happy with the information, but I was happy enough to know she was thinking of me, at least unconsciously. Now it was my job to get her to think of me consciously.

I left her room willingly and filled my glass with water, sitting at the dining room table and chuckling to myself as I imagined Bella's face once again. It only stirred my thoughts that she was thinking about me, and I didn't care if I sounded like an arrogant jerk. I heard her shower turn on, realizing a few minutes later that it was much too loud to be behind closed doors, so of course I leant back in the chair I was sitting in and peered into Bella's room. Sure enough, her bathroom and bedroom door were open and I could see her blurred body behind her shower door in the reflection in her bathroom mirror. Luckily I caught myself when I felt my body lean too far back, almost slamming into the linoleum floors below.

It confused me how she could bounce back from her downtrodden mood the night before to this ball of energy she was this morning. We didn't talk like I'd planned last night at the grocery store. We'd just done our normal routine: dry foods, produce, and frozen stuff, all the while chatting about her school, my work, and just random things. It was nice to have her all to myself without the distraction of a conversation that involved Edward in any shape, and I was greedy so I took the opportunity to just be with her. Our schedules rarely worked together, so last night was a good thing for both of us.

But no matter how happy she seemed to be last night, I knew something was off; she was missing her playfulness she usually possessed. This morning it was coming back out in her fierce reaction to my ice cube, probably the most hilarious thing I could think of now. And now she was 'accidentally' leaving her doors open while I was at home? Yeah, she was definitely playful today.

Or was it on purpose; her door being open that is. Was it on purpose? Did she want to cause me to have a heart attack in our living room? Was this her getting back at me for the ice cube? Or was she teasing me for what I seemingly can't have? The sudden wave of curiosity brought out the cocky alpha male in my blood. I wanted to test her nerve.

Peeling my shirt off my back, I crossed the room and opened my door, which was directly across from hers, and grabbed the bar above my door frame. It seemed that the timing was absolutely perfect at this point; her shower shut off across the apartment and I heard her throw the curtain back. Gripping the bar and facing my body towards her room, I pulled myself up. I was going to wait until she left for work to work out, but her sudden gall spurred me on. Trying to keep my eyes off her room, I continued to do pull-ups, trying to think of what she would do if she continued this little game she was trying to play. Finally I did sneak a peek into her room, only to see her bare back clad in only a pair of pale blue underwear that cut over the bottom-most section of her butt. She leaned over her bed to grab whatever piece of clothing that was spread out for her and I lost _my_ nerve, pulling myself back up and staying there, pulling my knees to my chest and trying to breathe steadily.

Next thing I knew, two small hands were gripping my hips and pulling me down. It was the shock of the touch that caused me to lose grip and go crashing to the ground, a laughing Bella now standing over me.

"Do you always get this flustered when a girl touches you?" Bella's right eyebrow lifted in a jab at me. I could see the small smirk forming on her lips before it appeared.

I smiled a crooked grin, raising both of my eyebrows at her above me. "Only with you Bells." I winked. She blushed immediately.

"Stop trying to show off for me Jacob Black," she tried to save herself, but I'd already began to stand up, much too close to her so that I was towering directly over her.

"Only if you stop trying to show off for me Bella Swan." I winked down at her and smiled as she turned an even darker shade of crimson and took an insecure step back. I laughed and hooked an arm around her shoulders, playfully pulling her into my chest. She struggled to pull away, laughing and claiming I was sweaty.

I pulled away and looked myself over quickly. I was NOT sweaty, and I prided myself in the fact that I was athletically superior enough to not sweat until the activity was really vigorous. As soon as I was about to argue that point, Bella was already stepping out the front door, shouting a "Later Jake!" back at me. The door closed and I sighed.

I was used to the flirting we shared every once in a while, but it was becoming increasingly difficult to not take it personally when she would lure me in and then cast me back out. It was also becoming harder and harder to hold myself back from pushing our flirting farther. Many a time I would catch myself from touching her more than I should, pulling my hand back just in time to save myself the embarrassment of being caught.

I was tired of this friend's situation.

Staring at the closed door Bella had just exited from; I decided I wanted to pursue her as more than just a best friend. I wanted her to realize that I was better than Edward, that anyone was better than Edward, but mainly me. I wanted her to be happy; above all else she would always be my best friend, and that would always be the most important thing for me: her happiness. But I had to at least try to show her that she could be happier with me.


	4. Forgiven

**DISCLAIMER:** I own nothing. Technically I don't even OWN this plot, but I like to think I'm responsible for the outcome of this story. Everything else actually does belong to S. Meyer.

**A/N:** Super duper sorry for the delay folks. I definitely lost my jumpdrive in the USB port of my college's bookstore because that's the only place anyone can print papers out on the entire campus and I'm dumb and forgot it there. So, this is NOT the original. I do apologize thought because I got a lot of reviews while I was writing this (I had to redo it completely :[) and I would like to thank so many people it's not even funny. You know who you are.

I got my final boost for finishing this chapter from the New Moon premiere, because I liked this movie better than the last, soooo, I wanted to get this out on the 20th, but figured that would make it rushed and such.

So, here it is.

Review, rate, whatever. I love the feedback. =]

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**Bella**

"No way!" I kept my eyes turned down, my chin resting on my bent knee in the swivel chair I had claimed as my own behind the register. It was cold in the bookstore today but my skin was burning with a blush that had become very apparent as soon as I'd told Angela what happened that morning between Jacob and me.

"Isabella Marie Swan! You didn't!" I kept my face down, ignoring her taunting. I was regretting letting her in on what took place at this point; Angela seemed to be taking it a little louder than I intended the conversation to go.

"I didn't actually DO anything Ange," I started, my voice stern enough that my brunette counterpart wiped the smirk off her face immediately, "I just forgot to close my door while showering. It could have happened to anyone." By the end of my excuse, I was smirking as well because we both knew that was a lie. I fully intended on Jacob getting a show, and his actions afterwards confirmed my suspicions that he had.

Angela snorted as I waggled my eyebrows in her direction, having turned my back to the register so as to give her my most intimidating look. She glanced behind me and snorted again, so of course I turned as well. I don't think my blush could have gotten any darker as I took in the view of the very tall and very dark Quil Ateara.

My eyes grew wide and I felt my body immediately cool off in a flush of embarrassment. I really needed to stop talking in public. It would eventually get me in trouble. I took a deep breath and I felt my shoulders try to loosen as I ignored that Quil probably heard every single word out of my mouth.

He would, after all, go on and tell Jacob everything I said; they were very close friends, basically brothers.

"Hey Quil. How ya doing today?" I asked, trying to shrug off the curiously intense look he was giving me. I kept my eyes down and rang up the items he brought to the counter. The bookstore was also a sort of school supply and convenient store, the only place on campus where you could buy books and chocolate at the same time. While ringing up his items, I vaguely heard him reply "Oh my day just got better."

I stole a glance up at the tall boy with dark hair and seemingly even darker eyes. He definitely had some Native background, just like Jacob, but Quil's inheritance had made him lighter-skinned than Jacob, but still just as tall. The two worked at the same station and often rode in the same truck, so they talked…a lot. I really hoped Quil wouldn't go and blab to Jacob.

When I caught his eyes, Quil was still staring at me, even as I told him his total. I stood there, not knowing what to do until finally he reached into his back pocket and pulled out a small wad of cash. He broke his gaze. I felt exhausted from the intensity.

"You really shouldn't play games with the guy, Bella" he finally spoke. I had let my eyes wander away from him but they shot back and focused on his eyes, which were back on me, "Eventually he won't believe it's a game anymore." I handed him back his change with an open mouth. Turning back and looking at Angela, I saw her jaw had gone slack as well.

I turned back. "There isn't any game Quil, I swear." I furrowed my eyebrows together and focused on Quil's hands organizing his change. He just nodded and hummed an "Mmmhmm" like he didn't believe me.

Hearing him sarcastically call my fib made me slam my fist down from its position a couple inches in the air onto the counter with enough force to shake a rack of small energy drink shots on the countertop. I sighed and looked back up at the man who was harassing me. I almost opened my mouth to give him a piece of my mind, he was always harassing me about Jacob, but he beat me to it as he took a few steps backwards and started heading out the door, "Don't get so defensive, Bella. Anger doesn't look that good on you." I shut my mouth as he left the store and I sat back down in my chair.

"Next time why don't you warn me?" I didn't want to snap at Angela, but Quil had made me so mad in so few words that I just couldn't hold it in. Plus she hadn't helped at all while I sat there and suffered.

"Oh don't you blame this on me sister! You're the one who feels like sharing every dirty thing she does to get her roommates attention while at work, in front of customers." She had a point; I was being way too open about the whole thing. What happened at my apartment with my roommate was no one else's business but mine and Jacob's. It was just so hard not to talk to anyone about it; I was thinking about another man while my boyfriend was away at college for crying out loud!

I huffed once more and turned away from Angela. She understood that her words had reached me and knew I was letting it all sink in. I didn't want to seem like one of those sleazy girls who toyed with guys just for attention. I knew girls like that and they were trashy to me. I'm an adult, I should be able to sift through my emotional problems and face reality, not toy around with fantasies.

The rest of the day went by slowly, it being Friday, the only day of the week no one signed up for classes on. Everyone wanted to be out at the beach or they had jobs to fulfill other than school, so Friday was always the day we would close up early and take off.

Usually I didn't mind getting home early, but throughout the day, after contemplating my actions, I was completely embarrassed that I was so brash and bold that morning. Normal Bella wouldn't parade around her apartment without clothes on. Normal Bella wouldn't flirt with her best friend and roommate openly. I was nervous about going home that night, nervous about what Jacob would say, or even worse, not say. He had the habit of keeping to himself if he wanted to, but sometimes his silence was unnerving. I was so used to him being open and witty and wild that his quiet phases were sometimes too much for me to handle and I ended up thinking the worst possible things.

My mind had a very wild imagination sometimes.

I didn't have to worry, however, because when I got home half an hour later, I found that Jacob wasn't even there. Setting my stuff down, I glanced at the note he had left me on my closed door.

_Bells,_

_Went in to do a couple hours at Munroe. Should get off around midnight. You don't have to wait up for me._

_-Jacob_

Because he had his EMT/Firefighting license, Jacob could go in the hospital and work as a patient care technician. Currently he picked up shifts in the Emergency Department so as to make some extra money. Plus he got extra experience so when he decided to go back to school for whatever it was he wanted to go back for, he would have an easier load than others.

Neither one of us had texting abilities on our cell phones nor did I ever answer mine while at work, so we'd grown to leaving notes for one another. It was actually sort of sweet that he took the time to write out what was going on; it was much better than sitting in the dark and not knowing if he was okay.

I glanced at the clock. It was only seven so I decided to make myself something to eat. It didn't make sense to make more than I would eat; Jacob wouldn't be home for another five hours or so, but I made extra anyways.

Settling into the couch and watching TV was how I spent the rest of my night. I tried to call Edward, but got his voicemail for the fourth time in a row, so I set my phone on the coffee table and lay down. That's where Jacob found me when he got home.

I woke a little when I heard the lock clunk in its place as Jacob came in beside my head, but didn't stir because I was so tired I could have slept on the comfy couch all night. He stroked my bangs off my face and went to set his stuff down on the dining room table. When I heard his footsteps come back towards me, I was anticipating his touch but still jumped when he rubbed my shoulder. I opened my eyes and let them readjust to the dim light.

Jacob's eyebrows were cinched together and he had this glint in his eye that made me uneasy.

"What's wrong Jake?" I asked, sitting up on my elbows. His face held more than just a tired expression. Something was bothering him.

Jake kneeled down next to my head so we were face to face. He glanced down his nose and stared at my hand on the couch. He picked it up and said ever so sweetly, "I just wanted to tell you," he took a moment to sigh before he continued, "that you don't have to walk around naked to get my attention." Jacob stared into my eyes as a smirk toyed at his lips and my mouth fell open for what felt like the hundredth time today.

When the smile he was holding back fell through and I started to laugh a little I shoved his shoulders and he was sent onto his ass laughing. I stood up quickly and tried to walk away because I was embarrassed, but ended up tripping over my own feet and falling flat on my stomach. The wind was knocked out of me so I turned on my back to try and catch my breath.

Jacob was still chuckling as he crawled over to me. My knees stung along with my forearms as the cool air in the for once cold apartment swept across my bare skin, the two spots taking the brute of the fall. He tried to catch his breath as I did the same thing, lying on his stomach with his hands clasped out in front of his, holding his form up on his forearms. He looked so playful and young when he was laughing that I didn't want him to stop.

"You're such a jerk." I stated as I regained the use of my lungs.

"Nah," he replied, shaking his head, "I'd be a jerk if I told you it didn't get my attention." He waggled his eyebrows at me and my heart shot up into my throat. The familiar warmth burned up to the surface of my cheeks and down my neck. I didn't think I'd ever stop blushing around him. It was even worse that he was still staring into my eyes.

The dim light from the standing lamp in the corner spread harsh shadows along Jacob's face, only one half of it in the soft glow. I wanted to reach up and cup his face, but held my hand still over my ribs. I'd been rubbing the sore bones when I rolled over.

I didn't know what to say, speechless as always when my nerves were pushed to the edge. Right now they were hanging off the cliff with only their fingertips holding on. My eyes raced back and forth between his eyes and lips, which seemed to get closer and closer as the seconds passed in silence. I could've sworn my eyes were as big as saucers and my heart was on turbo, pounding blood through my ears.

Jacob stopped merely inches away from my face, so close that I could smell his faded cologne faintly. Suddenly I felt like I was about to explode out of my own skin. This proximity was going to kill me. My neck was straining to keep my head from turning away; I wasn't going to back out now.

His pants were now touching my bare legs, his long legs extended right next to mine. The silence still stretched out, the two of us just staring at each other. Suddenly, a phone went off on the table, causing me to jump and gasp, which in turn caused Jacob to smile a crooked grin. He went to push himself up, but before he could actually push up, I grabbed his shirt collar.

The smile left Jacob's face faster than I could see, and I never blinked. His arms were tensed in a push-up, the valleys between his biceps taunting me. "Can I help you?" he tried to lighten the suddenly thick environment.

My mind wasn't working the way it should have. I had a boyfriend, the same one I'd had for the last two years. We'd said we loved each other since the second month we'd been dating. I lost my virginity to him in the third month. He was the only experience I had, and here I was, clutching the shirt of my best friend, contemplating on how I would get out of this situation.

I wanted to kiss him; that much was clear to me. The fact that I didn't know how to go about it without feeling like I was betraying Edward was the problem. No matter what I was betraying him. This infatuation with Jacob was tearing my relationship to pieces. I couldn't kiss him.

But I _had_ to.

I repositioned my hand to behind his neck, bringing his mouth closer to mine. I met him halfway, our noses touching. "Please don't think less of me." I whispered, going in for his lips. Jacob grabbed my wrist, enough pressure to make me pause for a second, enough time for him to escape my grip.

Realization hit and I averted my gaze, the blush returning to my face and neck. It was suffocating me, this feeling of rejection. _He rejected me._ I had to get away.

"Bella, wait." But I was already up and headed to my room. I closed the door right before he got to me, locking it and sitting on my bedspread, still in a mess from the morning. I felt like an idiot. He was just messing with me, just some silly way he interacted with girls. But he was Jacob. He wouldn't, shouldn't, couldn't do that to me.

It wasn't fair.

There was a slow, heavy knock at my door. I ignored him. It was childish but it yielded me from the wave of embarrassment that was slowly creeping away. "Bella, you're phone was going off."

Jacob sounded almost tired, but I didn't care. I ignored him again. "It was Edward that called."

I stood up, knowing I should call him back, especially after this. Maybe hearing his voice would take my mind off of Jacob. That seemed almost impossible to me at the time. Not even Edward could shield me from my wandering mind. But it was worth a try.

I heard a "Fine" before I stepped towards my door, taking a deep breath and preparing myself from meeting his intense stare again. I didn't have to worry about the stare once I opened the door because his door directly across my mine was slamming shut. I glanced down and found my phone at my feet. Picking it up, I looked at Jacob's door again, my heart sinking once again.

I had to call Edward back.

After what seemed like an eternity of ringing, Edward finally picked up his phone.

"Yeah?" He yelled into the phone, but it was still drowned out by the music that was blaring around him. I had to move the phone away from my ear for a few seconds to prevent damage.

"Hey, Edward, it's me." I tried to be quiet, but with the noise in his background I ended up almost yelling as well. I felt stupid.

"Yeah, what do you need Bella?" He sounded annoyed.

"Nothing," I shot back quickly, just as easily becoming annoyed as well, "Just wanted to say hi, how ya doing? How's your trip? But nevermind; I guess I'll talk to you later." I hung up.

He didn't call back. Eventually I fell asleep. So that didn't help my problem with Jacob, it only made me want him more, but I knew that wouldn't happen. He'd just rejected me and I hadn't done anything too serious. Suddenly I hated the male species.

My dreams didn't help me keep that hate. Another dream like the ones I'd been having played throughout my sleep. Scratch the hate of men; I hated life.

**Jacob**

Bella avoided me for the rest of the weekend. Well, not exactly flat out avoided me, but she wasn't the way she was before that night, before I'd been an idiot and presented her in a situation that I knew she wouldn't be able to talk herself out of. I knew she would comply with whatever I wanted because I was her Jacob and she couldn't deny me anything.

I was selfish. But I felt like a scheming jerk as soon as she reciprocated just like I knew she would. That's why I stopped her; it wasn't because I didn't want to kiss her. Lord knows I wanted to do that and then some, but after the original intention of coercion, I felt sick with myself.

And I deserved everything I got in return.

But after six full days of no conversation, no real human contact with one another, I was sick of it. I needed Bella to get over what happened the week before.

So I showed up at the book store when I thought they were closing down, but ended up waiting outside for two hours in my truck, air conditioning blasting. I'd called Angela that morning and told her my plans and that I wanted her to keep her mouth shut about them. She promised she wouldn't say a word and that she would try to get her out of the store early; she'd been staying later because she knew I'd be at the apartment.

Finally, after I contemplated going in there to drag her out, Bella exited the store with Angela in tow. Angela found me in the parking lot and shrugged, mouthing 'Sorry'. I waved it off. I'd sit through an Antarctic blizzard naked for Bella to accept my apologies.

I got out of the truck and headed towards the two girls. When Bella noticed me coming towards her she tried to walk away but Angela stopped her enough or me to catch up. "Bella! Stop, please." I shouted and she halted, almost like I'd actually forced her to. Angela had her hands on Bella's shoulders, holding her in place, though I thought she didn't have the necessity now. She gave Bella a pointed look before smiling at me and walking away, calling back with a "Have fun you too!" before waving us off and heading towards her own car.

I owed her big time.

"Bells, I know I'm the last person you want to see right now, and I can understand that, but you can't just ignore me and everyone else-" she cut me off.

"I'm not ignoring everyone Jacob, just you." That stung. Her eyes were narrowed at me and her hands were on her hips, looking as cute pissed off as she did happy.

"Well then you can ignore me at-" she cut me off again.

"At Quil's party, right?" Bella cocked her eyebrow up at me. I was confused. She was totally shutting down my entire plan. "Fine. Let's go then." Bella started heading towards my truck, but I stood my place. How did she know? Just as if she were reading my thoughts, Bella called back at me, "Ange told me."

Damnit. She found everything out.

Because Bella got out of work late, we were one of the last ones at Quil's house. Almost everyone had a drink in their hand, and I'm sure it wasn't their first or second one. The ride over had been a quiet one, with conversation being limited to how work was and who we thought was going to be at Quil's.

"Thanks for the ride, Jacob. I guess I'll see you later." Bella took off from me and headed for the kitchen, but I let her go. Her animosity was growing; she was embarrassed beyond anything I'd ever seen and being around me wasn't helping.

"Dude, you look like shit," Quil came up and clapped me on the shoulder, making me grimace but hide it before he saw my face.

"Thanks," I replied sarcastically, turning to face Quil. He was obviously inebriated, his eyes lost in his own little world at that point in the night. "You look wonderful by the way." I had to laugh when Quil looked himself over and smiled a toothy smile before nodding his head like I had just told the truth. In all reality he looked close to passing out. I checked my watch; it was way too early for his level of drunk.

When Quil left my side, I went looking for Bella but couldn't find her. I did find Leah, my old high school sweetheart, but now close annoyance, trying to catch my eye from her position on the couch. I complied and headed towards her, instantly regretting it once her mouth opened. "So how's it with your pursue of Bella? Still itching to get in her pants?" She barked out a laugh and glanced behind me, following something with her eyes. I turned to find Bella fleeing the room, head ducked and trying to be unnoticed.

I followed, swerving bodies and open cups. I hated this party now. Bella darted up the stairs and I followed, closing the distance between us by taking two stairs at a time. She went to enter a bedroom and close the door, but I was close enough that I stuck my foot in the door, immediately feeling the slam of the hard wood on my foot. I winced and cursed out loud when the door bounced off my foot.

Bella's face was filled with shock as she realized what happened. "Oh jeez! I'm sorry Jake! Gosh I'm sorry!" she clapped her hands over her mouth but then reached out for me with one hand, pulling me in the room. I hobbled to the bed, covered in a light purple quilt, and sat down, crossing my ankle over my knee and kneading the pain out of my foot. Bella flipped the light switch on and closed the door, shutting out the noises that were travelling upstairs. I hadn't realized how loud it was in the house until she shut it all out with that simple action.

I lifted my head, my hands still massaging my foot through my shoe, not very effectively might I add, and watched as she stood in her spot staring at the ground. She chewed on her lip and crossed her arms over her chest.

When the silence got too evident, Bella glanced up at me from under her bangs, the brown fringe making her eyes look exotic. "You really need to stop slamming doors, Bells." The left side of my mouth lifted in a smile as she giggled for a moment. I stood slowly, thinking about what I should say next; I didn't want to push her away.

So, instead of opening my mouth and ruining my chances, I took the few steps to get to the door and her and stopped in front of her. She stared at my shoes until I lifted her chin, making her look at me. Her eyes were wide and bright, looking all the more innocent. "Bells," I started, keeping my voice low, "I just, I just have to try something." The words were fighting their way out of my mouth, one by one, almost methodically.

Bella nodded after a few moments of me debating whether to just go for it or back off. Before I knew what was happening, my mouth was connected with hers, eyes closed, my lips forming a soft unbreakable seal with hers. When we broke apart after a few seconds, a let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. Her eyes were still closed, brow furrowed and I wanted to know if it was a bad thing.

She had kissed me. I wasn't the instigator tonight. She leaned in and kissed me. The thought made me smile. But then I had to press my hand behind her neck and pull her back in to me. Her hands rested on my chest, clutching at my shirt. She pulled so hard that I took a step closer, pressing into her. My hands cupped her jaw, my thumbs rubbing her cheek bones.

It felt like something was exploding in my chest, like a balloon was filled to the max with helium in my chest and my ribs popped it open. I was flying.

Somehow Bella ended up pressed against the door, her body closer than it had ever been to mine. Our mouths moved fluidly against one another, hot breath brushing against each other's cheeks. She was warm and soft and perfect in every way. I slid one hand down her neck and over her shoulder, down her arm that led to her fingers that were hooked in my belt loop. Our fingers intertwined and I pressed it into the door. She gripped it so tight that I thought she was clinging on for dear life.

The kisses were rough and fast, like too much hurry was put in them, so I slowed them down, taking my hand on her neck as a holding device. My breath was harsh through my nose and Bella was close to gasping for breath so I removed my mouth form hers. She tilted her head back in aggravation, giving me ample room to graze her neck with my tongue. I quickly found out the point where her neck blended into her shoulder was very sensitive, and every time I touched it with my mouth she would shiver.

"Jake," I heard above my head. Bella's voice was low and sultry, deeper than it normally was and an electric shock to my groin. I grazed my teeth over her exposed collar bone and she moaned. The sound of it flying through her throat right by my ear made me sigh into her neck.

She lifted my head from its position and stared into my eyes as if she could read some kind of answer to an unasked question. I waited and wondered what she was thinking; perfectly content with how we were standing. My hands rested on her hips that were pressed out against mine. I rubbed circles over the exposed skin that peaked out from under her shirt, feeling the flushed skin with my fingertips. She wiggled from my grasp and pulled me with her, finally sitting down on the bed and leaving me to stand in front of her.

Bella scooted back on the bed, reaching the massive amount of pillows and keeping my gaze as she slowly unbuttoned the top button of her shirt. The long plaid sleeves that she'd rolled to her elbows were unfurling, making her look like she'd just romped around with her top on. I wanted to give her that look again, over and over again, outfit after outfit.

As her fingers fiddled with the second button, never dropping my gaze, I clasped my hands behind my head, pulling my elbows forward in a protective casing. I let out the breath I was holding slowly, taking in another breath just as slowly. She was killing me slowly.

By the fifth button, my eyes had begun to wander down the sliver of skin Bella was slowly revealing. I licked my lips that had dried during my breathing exercise. Finally the last button was unhooked, allowing Bella to slip the shirt over her shoulders. When she was no longer tangled up in the fabric, Bella balled it up and threw it at me, laughing a little. I couldn't help but chuckle as well when the blue green plaid hit my stomach.

She crossed her ankles and leaned against her hands, speaking for the first time in what felt like forever. "Take off your shirt Jake." She pointed to the shirt I was wearing and I willingly complied, pulling the fabric over my head. The air conditioner made my skin prickle in the cold, or was it the effect of the 'come hither' look Bella gave me that made my skin crawl in the most amazing way?

I knelt on the bed and crawled up Bella's body, eliciting a shaky breath when her cool hands sidled up my abs and over my nipple. Her fingers tangled in my hair and brought my mouth to hers again, but this time taking control over the speed of our mouths. She caught my bottom lip between her teeth and slid the tip of her tongue along the inside of it. My hands twisted in the quilt before one rested under her head and the other trailed down her ribs and waist.

Bella tugged my shoulders until I was lying halfway on her, one leg between hers. My hand slid up her skin, the slow movement making Bella moan into my mouth. Instinctively I clenched my hands, and it just so happens that my hand was just under her breast. The realization of how close I was to her gave me another jolt of electricity and her realization made her arch her back, pressing those amazing bra covered breasts into me.

I pressed my hips into Bella's thigh, showing her just how turned on I was. She groaned and replied with her own hips, snaking her leg around my waist. Her thigh pulled down the waistband of my jeans and before I could register it, Bella's hands were fiddling with the skin that was freshly exposed. Her fingers grazed across my stomach, dipping below the waist band, making me gasp as she touched the sensitive skin that stretched across the exact middle of my pelvis.

"Bella," I breathed out, breaking away from her mouth and ravaging her throat and neck, finding the soft skin of her chest sweet when I made my way down. Her fingers were still tangled in my hair and I'd need to put it up when this was over.

"Hmm?" she hummed, lifting her hips to mine when her fingers left their roaming at my belt.

"What do you expect from this?" I paused, realizing how rude that sounded. I meant what she expected for me to do with her now. Was I supposed to go ahead until she stopped me or was she doing this for me? Did I somehow unintentionally coerce her into this situation without her wanting it? I was saved from my own torturous thoughts when she replied, saving my ass and understanding what I meant without my explanation.

"Whatever happens, happens, okay Jake?" she stared into my eyes once more, holding my face in place with her hands, giving me a look that was trying to relay a message. Only I couldn't decode it. I pushed myself up with my arms, letting all my weight be placed on my hips and arms. Bella shut her eyes and threw her head back, breathing heavily. I was making her react this way?

That made me feel like a God. It was as if something clicked in my head and a beast came out. I brought my mouth back to her arched chest, licking, breathing, nipping, and doing whatever I could to get a response. Everything I did only made Bella antsier. Her leg wrapped around my waist again and with enough force to move a semi, she flipped us over.

Shocked more than anything that she flipped me over, I was still as she bent and began to kiss my neck and shoulders, my hands roaming over her bare back. She was straddled over my lap, in the sexiest way ever known to man. Her hair fell over my neck and face, the exotic flower scent overpowering my senses. I loved her hair, more now than ever. It was soft and luxurious and tickled my skin as she kissed farther down my stomach, only stopping when she couldn't bend anymore.

I sat up, pushing her hair out of her face, her legs naturally wrapping around me and locking in place. My hand was sprawled across the small of her back and I couldn't help from pulling her lower half into me. The feeling of rubbing against her, even through the thickness of our pants, erupted a whole load of shock waves that travelled up my stomach and down my back.

Once again Bella sighed, but this time it was in time with me. It was like music to my ears, our breaths melting together in the quiet room. With her in my lap, Bella's breasts were right in front of my mouth and I buried my face between them, releasing another moan when she ground into me again.

It seemed like years worth of tension was being relieved as we sat in the bedroom groping each other. I'd harbored sexual and emotional feelings towards Bella since she and Edward had started dating. Maybe it was the male complex where a guy wants what he can't have, but I had her now; she was like putty in my hands, and I still wanted her.

"Jacob." Bella was tugging at my hair, trying to get me to look up at her face. Maybe she wasn't putty, not that I would use that to my advantage, but it felt good to know I had such an effect on one girl.

"Yes, Bella," I watched her face and the smile that was fighting its way past her lips.

Finally she smiled, "Take off your pants."

My jaw dropped. Bella laughed and ran her fingers through my hair, leaning down and growling in my ear, "I said take off your pants." If that didn't make a guy almost lose it, I didn't know what would.

I didn't deny Bella her request. Turning us over, I stood from the bed and unhooked the button of my jeans, unzipping the fly and watching Bella's reaction. I gulped when I saw her own fingers toying with the button of her shorts. I glanced up at the ceiling, asking God if this was really happening, and pushed the rough material of my jeans down my legs.

Bella's eyes immediately glanced down for a moment, but shot back up to my face after the shortest millisecond. Her face blushed again and I laughed. I felt naked at the moment, standing there in my boxer briefs completely sober in a room that I wasn't familiar with in front of the girl I'd been crushing on since I was eighteen. But, surprisingly, I didn't quite care enough to cover myself up.

The brunette lying before me unhooked the top button of her shorts and leant back on her forearms. Her hair was a little tasseled at the top, but all together she looked like the epitome of a wet dream, only this wasn't a dream, or so I thought. I smiled the entire time I crawled up her legs, her eyes suddenly wavering from mine as I grew closer and closer.

She was trying to hold back her own smile, but failed miserably as my mouth caught hers and our tongues danced against one another. Bella's hands ran down my bare back which ultimately brought my body closer to hers. The bulge in my underwear pressed into her shorts and I couldn't help but bark out a laugh to keep myself from moaning. I probably sounded like a teeny bopper with no experience when it came to girls, like this was my first run around the track.

"Bella, I don't think this would be the best place to do this." I pushed myself up on my hands with my knees on either side of her body, watching her face to see if she agreed.

"Jake, why must you always turn me down?" Her face held evident rejection. My heart dropped.

"God, no, Bella, jeez no. I want this, I swear to God. But, Quil's house? It's not my ideal location; not with you." I went back to lying on my forearms and pushed Bella's bangs off her forehead. There was a small crease between her brows and I pressed my fingers to it, massaging the line out of her features. Her face softened as she slowly came to terms with what I'd said.

"Fine, but hurry up and let's go." Bella pushed on my chest and squirmed from underneath me. I laughed at her energy boost and rolled over to sit up. I scooted to the edge of the bed, now creased with where we'd been lying, and watched as Bella buttoned her shorts and looked around for her shirt. She kicked me my jeans and I stood to put them on.

Suddenly, the door swung open and a dark head peered in. "Dude, you've been up here for like five minutes. You finished already? Pathetic." Leah.

"Fuck off Leah," I barked at her, moving to shut the door on her judgmental stare.

"Whatever Jacob." I closed the door again but still heard Leah talking through the door. "She's just gunna play you. Don't forget about her perfect little Cullen." I looked up at Bella who was buttoning the top buttons of her shirt. Her eyes were wide and glassy from the distance and she was staring at the door like she could see through it to Leah.

I slipped my jeans on and scooped my shirt off the floor, holding my hand out for Bella to take. She did and we stepped out of the room to find Leah was gone, probably back to the party downstairs.

"Let's take the backdoor out of here," I heard Bella say, letting me lead us down the stairs and through the kitchen. We made it outside and through a gate and into my truck once again.

Bella twiddled with her thumbs in her lap, her long hair falling over her shoulders and around her chin. I reached over to put my hand over hers and she looked up at me when she felt my warmth on her skin.

"Jake, I don't know what came over me back there, but…" she trailed off and the knife that was constantly growing larger and sharper pierced through my heart.

I squeezed her hands, maybe a little tighter than what I meant to, before shaking my head and mumbling an "I understand. Don't worry about it." I inhaled and tried to calm my speeding heartbeat, removing my hand from Bella and placing it back on the steering wheel.

We didn't speak the entire ride back to the apartment, or when we walked up the stairs, me always four steps ahead of her. We didn't say a word to each other when I opened the door, when I grabbed a beer out of the fridge, or when I passed by her still standing in the entryway on my way into my room.

Even when he wasn't around, Edward Cullen ruined my night.


	5. Lemonade Revealings

Wow. It's been a while. I'm sorry. This is short and it probably sucks compared to the others, but I figured we needed a bit of drama. If anyone hates the way I portrayed Jessica, I'm sorry. I thought it would be fitting. Anyways, don't fret because of the lack of Jacob in this chapter because I have some more to come soon. If you get a chance go read my Through The Trees story that I started a couple weeks ago. It's in development and I think it'll be a fun story for me to write.

But again, don't worry too much about the lack of Jacob. The next chapter will have plenty :D. Enjoy!

* * *

I didn't want to open my eyes this morning. The sun was too bright and the students outside were too loud and someone was playing a Nirvana song horribly on their guitar in the next dorm. I sniffed the air and discovered that someone had clearly burnt a breakfast burrito in an old cheap microwave and something was touching my foot that was sticking out from under the covers.

I jumped up, throwing a pale arm off my torso as I did, landed on a padded floor and squinted at what I hoped was just a shirt and not some creepy crawly monster that had a foot fetish. To my satisfaction, I saw it was a pair of boxers sitting on the desk by Edwards bed that was swaying in the breeze from the cracked window.

I sat down on the desk chair I'd managed to knock in to and dropped my head into my hands. A knot was in my upper gut and it was swirling and I felt like if I didn't get to a sink fast there would be another musky scent to add to the already disgusting aroma of the dorm room. I drew in a deep breath through my nose and winced at the rush of air against my dry throat. I needed water.

I pulled on my jeans from the previous night and drew my hair into a bun before grabbing some quarters off the nightstand and leaving the room barefoot and in search of a drink machine. The halls were pretty empty and I was thankful for that, seeing as I had a splitting headache anyways and running into people I'm sure I wouldn't like would ultimately just add to my already irritable mood.

The drink machines were on every odd numbered floor so I had to either go up or down a flight of stairs to get something to drink that wasn't hot and still in a box like the orange soda Edward had under his bed. I decided to go up the stairs, thinking I could wake up more with some exercise. My legs ached from the killer heels I'd borrowed last night from a girl named Tanya. I'd never wear pumps again. Flip flops and slip ons were good enough for me.

As I reached the flat of stairs and began my second ascent, a bunch of guys in garnet and gold teeshirts came thudding past me, talking much too loudly about how I looked like I had a rough night. I had been through hell the night before, but I didn't need a bunch of guys to point that out for me. The fact that my bangs looked as if they were basically licked by three different cows and I could smell all different kinds of perfume, none of which were mine, on my shirt gave me that impression already.

Last night had sucked more than any of the other nights I'd spent in Tallahassee. Edward and his friends had decided to go out to four different clubs, a bowling alley at 2 a.m., head back to an apartment complex for drinks, and then somehow use backroads and alleys to get past campus security and caught drinking at 4 a.m the night before spring semester started. To say it was a long night would be an immense understatement.

But, I had a rough time in Ocala, and needed a distraction. Jacob was ignoring me, and I knew my walls were breaking for him. I'd been putting up this front where I ignored him and kept my distance because I'd told him I didn't want him.

The truth is I felt guilty that night; the night Jacob and I came close to crossing a line we shouldn't cross. Ever.

I felt guilty because I knew Edward wouldn't cheat on me; he wouldn't go and fool around with one of his girl friend's up at FSU while I'm in Ocala. My actions, if I would have had the chance to go through with them that night, would have tortured me inside until I finally came clean to my boyfriend. And I was too chicken shit to do that. I couldn't have the label 'cheater' stamped on my forehead for everyone to see.

That's why I told Jacob I didn't want him, that I was unintentionally leading him on and didn't want what he was offering me.

It was a lie. Still is a lie. But I still feel guilty for betraying Edward's trust. That's why I've been the utmost perfect girlfriend: driving up almost every weekend to Tallahassee to see him, following him around during his weekend outings, being social with his party going friends who do nothing but sit in their dorm or go out and drink.

And after every weekend I come home and hope that Jacob will be there trying to convince me to change my mind, that I'm being stupid for fighting what I felt that night in Quil's house and that I need to grow up and face the music.

But, alas, every Monday I come home and either no one is home or he's in his room and I don't hear from him for another day or so and eventually I find a pair of underwear that aren't mine in the wash. So, to say the least, I'm jealous. And that jealousy fuels this stupid need to be a perfect girlfriend for Edward. Call it delusional, but it keeps me semi-sane.

The water machine was out of water, go figure, so I opted for a lemonade. Bad idea, I thought, just as the tangy bitter liquid scratched down my throat and immediately caused a fit of coughs. I squeezed the bottle in reflex and lemonade shot out of the bottle and onto my shirt and the wall and my bare feet and the ugly blue carpet under my feet.

I began the long walk back down the stairs to Edwards room. My coughing didn't let up and I'm sure my face was red from the brute force of me trying to get steady air in my lungs. I almost caught my breath by the time I made it to Edwards door, leaning on the wall to steady myself.

A door opened to my left and a small hand began to pat my back. I glanced with tearful eyes at a short blonde girl who looked like she knew what she was doing, so I followed her into her dorm room and waited as she grabbed me a water out of her mini fridge. I nodded my thanks as I took a chug of the water. It felt amazing and I quickly downed the bottle, not realizing I was this thirsty until the moment I had the liquid in me.

"Are you okay?" she asked, sitting on the wooden trunk at the foot of her neatly made bed. Her sheets were pale green and white, along with the rest of her decorations. Everything was organized and clean, and smelled crisp and fresh. It was a nice change from the pungent smell of funions, booze, and axe spray.

"Yeah," I nodded, swallowing hard to moisten my mouth again, "much better. Thanks." I offered a smile and immediately felt my dry lips start to crack. Last night really had been too much for me.

"You look like you've had a rough night," the girl commented, glancing me over and furrowing her eyebrows at my now wet jeans.

I had to chuckle at that, but felt the insecurities of not looking my best slip into my fore front and I wiped at the wetness on my shirt. "Yeah. Really bad night." I looked her over. She was dressed in a oceanic palette: cream leggings and a teal tunic with some pale leather boots and a fringy scarf. Her long brown hair fell straight over her shoulders, and her dark blue eyes were illuminated by the colors she wore. I felt like a pauper in her presence and tried to cover up my sloppiness.

"Don't worry about trying to make yourself look better. I've seen much worse." The girl read my mind, but I still tried to cover up a little. The short brunette looked intense, like she could argue me to my grave if given the chance.

"I'm just normally not like this, all messy and whatnot." I tried to reason outloud, and it was 100% true. I didn't feel like myself, not since Jacob started giving me the cold shoulder. It hurt a lot just sitting there thinking about it. Good thing my arms were already wrapped around my chest; I felt like I was going to fall out of my own skin.

I managed to keep my gaze off the intense stare of the girl, whom I had no name for. "What's your name?"

"Jessica. What's yours?" she cocked her head to the side.

"Bella. I don't go here; just visiting." I didn't know why I added it, but it felt like I should mention that I'm not a regular here, like it gave me some excuse for being messed up in the morning.

"Ah, I see. Visiting Edward?" My gaze jumped from the floor to Alice. How did she know that?

I hesitated a moment before responding, "Uhh, yeah. How'd you know?"

Jessica smiled a mean smile, almost a smirk, "Like you're the first girl to visit him Bella. I don't understand what you tramps don't get. He's a manwhore, and he has a girlfriend from what I've heard! I actually feel sorry for the girl, even though she has to be completely idiotic to not even suspect he's been cheating on her."

She continued spewing out words that my brain deflected, defending my body from the lines I didn't want to hear. He was cheating on me? For how long? I didn't understand. Jessica stopped talking when she caught sight of my face.

"Oh, honey, you can't honestly think he thought you were special, can you? Here's my advice for you: get your clothes together, put some shoes on, get in a cab and go home. He's just going to kick you out as soon as he wakes up anyways." Jessica actually looked like she was trying to help me, but she didn't understand. I'M the girlfriend he's been cheating on. Why me?

Jessica reached out to pat my shoulder, and I let her. Even though she didn't fully understand, she was kind of looking out for me, or Edwards girlfriend who was too idiotic to know what was going on. I wondered if she gave every girl this speech. I stood abruptly, shaking her hand off.

"Thanks for the water Jessica," my eyes were blank as I exited the room, not really noticing my surroundings as I opened Edwards dorm door and began picking up my things. I didn't want this relationship anymore; it was bullshit. I kept as quiet as I could while collecting my stuff. I even managed to change out of my lemonade drenched clothes and into some sweats and a University of Florida hoodie. Screw FSU.

I glanced around and took one final look at Edward, his naked torso pale in the peeking sunlight. His unruly hair stuck out in a million different directions and I suddenly hated it. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of me yelling at him and getting a reaction out of me. He didn't deserve it.

I left, slamming the door behind me. I doubt he would even know I was gone. My feet took me to my old red truck and I tossed my duffel bag in the passenger seat. The engine blared to life and I threw the gear in reverse. I didn't want to be in Tallahassee anymore. I didn't want to be Edwards girlfriend. I didn't want to be the back burner girl. I wanted the full attention of a man who could love me and take care of me, not make me have to fend for myself and fake my feelings.

I wanted Jacob, and that's exactly where the interstate would take me.


	6. Clean Plate

Soooo, hi...again. Sorry it took...seven months -cringe- to get this out. I've been swamped by classes and work, but I FINALLY got this out to you...kind of a 4th of July gift? Only on the 5th. So, enjoy this chapter, mmkay? And don't lose faith in me. Because I've got some good planning going on with this story and things will be heating up in the next chapter or so. I promise it won;t take me till December to get it out to you.

As always, I own nothing.

* * *

It was surprisingly cool when I pulled myself out of bed to go for my morning run that Monday. The night before had been warm and muggy so I'd left the window cracked; now there was condensation on my bathroom mirror and I had goose bumps the size of boils. I'd actually have to bundle up to go run.

I could see my breath during every exhale I took. It was a steady rhythm: one, two, one, two, inhale, one, two, one, two, exhale, and so on. The sidewalk was clear of other runners too afraid to face the cool air. It seemed no one was comfortable in the cold in Florida, which sucked because this winter had been the coldest on record for quite a while.

We'd had a snow day in early January and plenty of ice to scrape off of windshields. That weather hadn't lasted long and by the time the semester had started it had started to warm up. Now every couple of days we'd have a chill that would mostly warm up by noon time. I wasn't complaining about the cold; I was actually a fan.

I was gone for about forty five minutes running around town. I ran past my station and past the interstate, around the high school football field and made a circle back around the college campus, going through the back entrance of the complex. I was drenched in sweat despite the cool morning and my shirt was now clinging to my back. Before I'd closed the front door I looked for the old red Ford Bella drove, but found no evidence of it being there.

My alarm clock flashed the time in blurry red numbers and I didn't register the time as I started peeling my clothes off. I was down to my boxers when I heard my sheets rustle behind me, "Aww, why didn't you wake me? I would have run with you." I rolled my eyes and flicked the light on in my bathroom without a glance behind me.

"I figured you wanted to sleep in," my voice was husky, my throat a little sore from the dry cold air outside. Switching on the hot water before I turned to face her, I'd hoped my look of annoyance would be enough to scare her away. But, as I knew it would happen, Leah Clearwater didn't budge.

Her long brown hair fell over her shoulders and her high cheekbones made her dark eyes seem like pools of blackness in the shadows of my room. She'd sat up and the covers fell down her torso, revealing the white tank top she'd fallen asleep in the night before and a pair of my boxers. How she figured she had the right to wear them was beyond me.

Leah was very pretty; a little harsh on the eyes with her intense looks, but she was very gorgeous. She acted like one of the guys, always cursing and yelling, causing a scene and fighting. She smoked, she drank, and she did whatever she thought would get her the most attention from the opposite sex. In a weird way she was kind of like Megan Fox, only Native American and without the strange thumbs.

All in all she was pretty cool; until you let on that you may happen to be attracted to her. In that case she was like a tick. But that's what I had to do to get Bella off my mind. Leah knew me inside and out; she was the girl I was in love with in high school, my first love. Or at least back then I thought it was love. Now I knew it was just an infatuation with the girl who was hot and knew how to win a spitting contest.

But Leah knew I was hurting, and if she got off on that fact she didn't let on; she kept my mind far away from Bella. She knew things about me I hadn't ever noticed, like the fact that running didn't make me forget about her but actually allowed me time to think about Bella. Which is why she knew bullshit just ran out of my mouth.

"Bullshit and you know it," was all she said, throwing the covers off her lap and crawling off the bed. Her long tan legs ran for miles and her toenails were bright red, my favorite color. She shivered in the cool air and ran her hands over her arms, covering her barely veiled breasts.

I had to chuckle; somehow she could take me out of my bad mood when she was uncomfortable, and Leah did not do well with the cold. "Dude, if you're taking a shower you better let me in there too. I'm going to freeze my nips off out here!" I knew she wanted in, for me to give her another shot, but I couldn't do it. She wasn't sweet, she wasn't kind, and she didn't make my heart beat hard in my chest when I'd look at her. In short, she wasn't Bella.

"Then maybe you should put some actual clothes on." I twisted my neck slowly and eyed her from my position in front of the counter. Her face formed a shocked expression, obviously feeling the onslaught of rejection I'd just thrown at her. I don't know why my moods changed randomly these days, but I often went from one extreme to the other. But Leah was used to my mood swings by now, so she bounced back fairly quickly.

"Sorry," I threw out with a half assed apologetic look, "just stressed I guess." I opened my medicine cabinet and reached for my toothbrush. It would give me an opportunity to not have to answer all her questions and remarks. My mouth was filled with frosty foam when I caught sight of Leah standing behind me in the mirror. We locked eyes for a few seconds, her dark brown eyes connected with mine.

She was hurting, too. I knew it. Just like she knew my history, I knew hers just as well. After we split after high school, Leah began dating this paramedic Sam that worked at my station. They were together for what seemed like forever, until this girl Emily started coming around when Leah didn't. Inevitably Emily got knocked up by Sam, and that ruined Leah. I submitted myself to knowing I was like a part time Sam for her in the same way she was like a part time Bella for me.

But I didn't want a part time Bella. It wasn't the same as having the real woman. I felt Leah's warm hand on my lower back and the sudden touch made my muscles contract. I sighed and shook my head in disbelief. She sneered and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Fine. If I can't get a shower in here there's always HER bathroom." With that she moved to leave the bathroom. I spit out the toothpaste and jumped out the room to grab her. My hand encircled her wrist and she tried to rip her arm out of my grasp. "Let GO Jacob!"

The fire was evident in her glare and my heart softened a little. "No, it's fine. You can stay here." I let go of her wrist and let her walk back in the bathroom in front of me. "Just don't do any funny business, okay?"

Leah turned and gave me a devilish look, "No problem Jake." And with that she peeled her tank top off, keeping her eyes on mine. I averted my gaze from her and in return caught ear of her chuckle. I rolled my eyes and noticed a moment too late that she was standing in front of me naked, pulling my own boxers down. She was squatted in front of me, her big doe eyes staring up at me. My breath caught in my throat and she stood slowly, her right breast catching the tip of my penis as she rose.

I took a step back and swiped my hand down my face. She was literally the devil. "I'm serious Leah," I chuckled, "I'm only a man." She glanced back at me as she stepped behind the glass door of the shower, her tan image suddenly blurred behind the glass pattern.

When I finally pulled into the apartment parking lot I'd had nineteen missed calls and 30 texts from Edward. At first the texts were mad because I left without saying a thing, then apologetic, and then mad again because I wasn't responding. I turned my ringer off about half way through the onslaught of jingles that came from my phone. I didn't want to deal with Edward; I really just wanted to forget about him and move on with my life.

I knew we'd have to break up; what kind of girl let a guy cheat on her? My mother did that plenty of times when I was younger, and she followed the lame jackasses like she was the one who had wronged, not the other way around. She needed respect in her life and her newest boyfriend had finally given me a semblance of hope that not all men were evil.

I turned off the engine and sunk my forehead on the steering wheel, chuckling softly at myself. What else could I do other than laugh at the situation? Glancing up I noticed that the curtains were drawn closed on Jacob's window and I tried as hard as I could to remember if he should be at the station or not. His old truck was a couple spaces to the right, but that never meant anything with him.

I hadn't stopped driving the whole way down from Tallahassee and quite honestly it was the most exhausting drive of my life. I couldn't bring myself to stop along the side of the road to clear my head and luckily I didn't crash on the interstate. The radio didn't work in the truck and all I had to keep myself company was the sound of the wind and the throbbing doubt that I'd done right by leaving Edward so abruptly. He was all I knew about relationships, the only one I'd ever had.

I slid out of the truck and wrapped my arms around myself when I felt the unnatural chill in the air. This winter was starting to get ridiculous. As soon as I got in the apartment I felt better, the air conditioner was off and the fans were throwing around warmer air. I could hear the washer machine going and couldn't tell if Jacob was home or not.

I got my answer when he came out of my room clad in only a pair of cut off sweats. The grey material hung low on his thin hips and his long hair was being pulled back by his rough tan hands. He stopped when he saw me and opened his mouth to say something but then shut it slowly, finishing up his hair and beginning to walk away.

What the hell? Where was he going, and without saying hi? I took a few quick steps towards him and reached out for his elbow, trying to get him to stop again. He paused and looked down at me surprised.

"Uh, hi?" my eyebrows rose and I gave him a face that obviously read 'why the hell won't you talk to me'.

"Hi" was his intelligent response.

I let go of his arm and stepped a few steps back, looking at him like he wasn't the same Jacob I knew and loved. Loved? Maybe. Was that possible? Maybe. Maybe that's why it hurt so bad to have him not acknowledge me. But why would he do so? Hadn't I been absolutely horrible to him for the last, what, three months or so?

"I-" I had to apologize, to explain that what happened that night wasn't supposed to ruin our relationship, that I never wanted to lose him, that I wanted to go back and stop us from making a minor mistake that could've been made into a major one. "I'm sorry."

Jacob's face relaxed from the hard expression he'd been wearing for the last few months. "Finally," he said after seven hard heartbeats on my end, "Do you know how hard it's been to keep a grudge towards you?" He reached out and pulled me into his chest, my face coming in contact with his breast bone. I gasped from the sudden heat that wrapped around me, finally relaxing my body to mold against him.

In the instant I felt myself relax Jacob held me out at arm's length, scrutinizing me. "What's wrong?"

His dark eyes bored into my forehead as I averted his inquisitive gaze. What was it with him and always knowing when something was up? It's like his whole self was in tune with my emotions, making it absolutely impossible for me to fake it around him. And there really was nothing wrong with me; I just had a rough morning. Well, would you consider it rough when your boyfriend of two plus years cheats on you? But he didn't need to know that; Jacob would flip a switch and be in Tallahassee in ten minutes flat. It would be better to not upset him, especially after this semi-wonderful reunion.

"Nothing." I said after a few seconds.

Jacob lowered his face to my level, lifting my chin with his rugged thumb, dry from the heat of flames and dirty with endless work. He really was beautiful, even this close. Anyone else who was as good looking as Jacob from a normal distance usually would be flawed up close, from artificial tans to covered up scars, but Jacob was all natural and earthy. His black brow was thick but not bushy, his cheek bones sharp but not hollowed, and his lips were formed in a fine frown.

"Bells," I locked eyes with him when he said my name, "Please tell me what's wrong. I've missed having you comfortable enough to talk to me about things."

I nodded; it had been a while since I'd confided in Jacob about my problems; about anything for that matter. Since that night back in November we'd either not talk or my stupid self would ignore his questions and concerns. It was ridiculous; we were best friends and I couldn't even tell him how I felt.

Just then I made a promise that I'd tell him the truth and confide in him and let him help me think through things and help me get by. He deserved to be in the same place he was before I let my feelings spin out of control. Lord knows he deserved at least a friend.

"Edward cheated on me." I glanced away, feeling Jacob's fingers slip from my chin. For some reason I felt ashamed, like it was my fault he cheated. No matter how much hate I felt for Edward right now I still felt a shimmer of remorse, like I was leaving something good for me. Obviously he wasn't good for me, unnaturally unhealthy if you would think about it, and I knew I made the right choice in leaving when I felt Jacob pull me into his chest.

The warmth felt good on my cold cheek, and I could hear the faint lug-dub of his heartbeat under the smooth skin of his torso. He squeezed me in a hug but something felt off.

"Jake, what's wrong?" I asked, tilting my head up to look at him. He was staring at the wall behind me, so all I saw was the underside of his chin.

He didn't say anything for a few beats, before saying "I'm going to tear him limb from limb, and then throw his pieces into a fire and-"

"Jake! No!" I pushed off his chest and got arms length away, trying to catch his eye. He gave in and glanced at me, a curious type of anger in his eyes. "I don't want to deal with him anymore. Just…let it be okay?"

Jacob took a few seconds before he acknowledged me completely, like he was ignoring me to come up with a plan I'd never figure out in time to stop. I'd put money on that was the case.

"Sure, Bells, if that's what you want, I'll honor your wishes," He smiled and pulled me back into the hug, rubbing my back and rocking me a little, "as long as you don't abandon me again, kay?"

I grimaced, and he knew he'd hit a soft spot. "Sorry," he said, and I waved it off, because today was the day I'd start over, start fresh and clean and without a nagging Edward to hold me back.


End file.
